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This is a very funny animal joke. Well, funny if you like joke like these. It is quite long and I am sorry for that but in less than a minute so it didn’t seem like it is too long, just a lot of text!
Ohm by the way, I found this joke in Daily Funny Jokes. They do have quite a lot of funny jokes, which I am trying to accumulate as well but I am working at a snail's pace. SIGH!
Meanwhile, enjoy this adult animal joke. LOLA farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, he strutted into the henhouse.
Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen.
But Randy didn't stop there; he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace.
Then he went to the pigpen, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out "Stop, Randy, you'll kill yourself!" But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.
Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy.
The farmer walked up to Randy saying "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy."
"Shhhhh," Randy whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer"
I have read this gender joke about a guy doing his laundry, or a variation of this, quite a few times. However, each time, it is still able to bring a smile to my face. I don't know why I could forget the punch line every single time! Maybe I have an ultra short memory.
Anyway, you know about all those dumb blonde jokes? This guy must have been a blond too!
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
This is a very logical yet funny adult joke. It would not make you go HA-HA-HA but will guarantee a chuckle out of you!
Let me know via comment if you enjoyed my collection of jokes to inspire me to look for better and better ones to keep you laughing! Thank you!'You're in remarkable shape for a man your age,' said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after the examination.
'I know it,' said the old gentleman. 'I've really got only one complaint - my sex drive is too high. Got anything you can do for that, Doc?'
The doctor's mouth dropped open. 'Your what?!' he gasped.
'My sex drive,' said the old man. 'It's too high, and I'd like to have you lower it if you can.'
'Lower it?!' exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year old gentleman was saying. 'Just what do you consider 'high'?'
'These days it seems like it's all in my head, Doc,' said the old man, 'and I'd like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can.'
Of all the jokes that I ever read before, I don't believe that I have read this adult joke before. I think this joke will surely bring out at east a chuckle out of you, if not, there surely must be something wrong with you! :p
So here goes, but don't say I didn't warn that it is 18-SX!A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
“Breast fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is under weight! You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his grandmother, but I’m glad I came.”
Source: Here
I needed a good laugh this week and went looking for funny jokes on the web to cheer myself up. It's not easy to make my laugh because my pet died a couple of days ago but this one is rather funny.
I know there are quite a few drunk jokes but I guess when one is drunk, anything could possibly happen!
Tell me what you think of this joke. Is it funny enough for you?A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream echo's through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
The bartender yells, "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
The drunk responds, "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles."
The bartender opens the door and looks in.
"You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
I read that blog readers love reading blog posts in list form. So today I have found a joke that is in list form! LOL. Today's joke, which I found on Rate Gag asks, what kind of farter are you. After reading this list, I have identified the kind of farter I am, but I am not telling! Hey, everyone farts, right?
Not only that, I personally know of dishonest farters who blamed their dog for farting and strategic farters who not only concealed their farts with fake coughs, but also shift furniture right at the point of farting so that no one could hear the fart. Hahaha!Vain: You love the smell of your own farts.
Amiable: You love the smell of other people's farts.
Proud: You think your farts are exceptionally fine.
Shy: You release silent farts and then blush.
Impudent: You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.
Unfortunate: You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.
Scientific: You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.
Nervous: You stop in the middle of your fart.
Honest: You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.
Dishonest: You fart and then blame the dog.
Foolish: You suppress your farts for hours.
Thrifty: You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.
Anti-Social: When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.
Strategic: You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.
Sadistic: You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.
Intellectual: You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.
Athletic: You fart at the slightest exertion.
Miserable: You would love to let one out, but you are unable to fart.
Sensitive: You fart and then start crying.
Here is a very funny adult joke that's seriously funny although you kind of expected the ending but it is still quite funny. It's an adult joke so their ending always have a twist to them!
Read it with an open mind!A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?”
The man replies, “No, what do you mean?”
She says, “You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me” Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Later, the man continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.
Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, “Did you call for me?” says the hairy man.
“No, what do you mean?” asks the newcomer.
“It’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.” The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. “May I help you?” she asks.
The man yells, “Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.”
“But, Sir,” she replies, “you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.”
The man replies, “Listen lady, I’m 63 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day. I’m outta here!”
Source: HERE
