A Friend and a Good Bra

As a seller of sexy lingerie online, it never occurred to me that lingerie could be made into jokes too. Well, to my surprise, I found a very good joke, and true to the point as well, the compared a friend and a good-fitting bra. I hope this is a sexy bra?

Read on and see if you are nodding your head as you are reading it!

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

This joke was obtained from Funny Jokes 4 Me.

Old Man of Esser

I think I need to change the layout of my blog so that I can place a daily funny picture, funny videos or maybe some funny games on the sidebar. Reading jokes in text is still funny, but I love funny pictures as well. I hope that I can find the time to look for a suitable layout for my blog.

Meanwhile here is some college humor to cheer you up. It isn't THAT funny and it is kind of funny to me because my uncle was a university professor. Thank god he doesn't know of my blog!

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

The Horny Superman Joke

I've heard of this horny Superman joke years ago when I was still in school. I didn't know how that got spread because we did not even have internet back then.

I was rather surprised, pleasantly so, when I chanced upon this horny Superman joke, in writing, posted at an adult jokes section of a joke website.

Sometimes, it really is good to read old jokes that are still funny no matter how many times you have read it. Do you agree?

Superman is flying around one day and he’s feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of a building and drops down to ask him where the best place to get laid is. Batman proceeds to tell him that Wonder Woman is a great lay. Superman then tells him that he couldn’t do that to her because they have been friends for too long and he flies away.

Superman then sees Spider-man swinging around and flies next to him while he’s swinging and asks him who the best piece of ass is. Spider-man tells him that he hears Wonder Woman is good and tells him to look her up. Disgruntled Superman takes to the air and flies about.

He then notices Wonder Woman lying in a field naked and spread Eagle. He thinks I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of that so fast she’ll never know what hit her. So, he flies down does his business and id 4 seconds he’s back in the air flying away. Wonder Woman looks up and says “What was that?”

Invisible Man says: “I don’t know but my ass hurts!”

The Koala Bear and the Prostitute

In my last post, I talked about looking for an adult joke that led me to a joke on a koala bear. By sheer coincidence, I chanced upon an adult joke today that features the koala bear. I wonder what is it with Koala bears???

This is a joke that I got from Joke Tribe. They mentioned that Joke Tribe is a large database of jokes collected over ten years. Wow, that's plenty of good jokes there I am sure.

This joke is SOMEWHAT funny only but I thought I'd publish it here, because of the coincidence with the koala bear. What do you think?

A koala bear was approached by a prostitute. Since he had never been with one before, he was curious and excited. They spent the night together in a hotel, and he went down on her one last time before departing.

As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled, "Hey! What about my money?" The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look, and shrugged his shoulders.

She said, "Come here," and pulled a dictionary out of her purse. She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition: "has sex and gets paid".

Finally understanding, the koala borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word "koala", and showed her: "eats bush and leaves"

A Koala Who Smokes Joint

I was searching for an adult joke for my blog this morning because I thought it has been pretty long since I posted one.

I was particularly interested on jokes on gay marriages but I ended up with this adult joke, which is NOT really adult, it's not 18SX and the only reason it is labelled "Adult" is because of the "joint"

But still, this joke is really funny that it made me laugh out. I hope that you find it funny too!

A koala is sitting up in a gum tree ... smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala ! What are you doing?" The koala says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says:

"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude ... how much water did you drink?!!"

Source: Adult Joke Database

"You are not getting older, You are getting better"

I found a very funny joke on the web just now. The blogger said that this is one of the funny Sadar jokes. Sadar, according to him, are people from Punjab. Here it a story of Banta Singh. Is he Santa Singh's brother? I read a lot of jokes about Santa Singh. What a cute name. At least it's not as common as Emily or something.

Banta Singh wants to celebrate his wife’s birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake.

The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

Well he thinks for a while and says: Let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”.

The salesman asks, “How do you want me to put it?”

Sardar says, well put “You are not getting older”, at the top and “You are getting better” at the bottom.

The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake: “You are not getting older at the top; you are getting better at the bottom”.

So what do you think? Funny? Not funny enough?

Mariah Carey's Engagement Ring

After reading about the fiasco of Mariah Carey engagement ring, whether it is a new engagement ring or a recycled engagement ring that was given to Selita Ebanks formerly, I shall not speculate.

However, it reminded me of this joke called, "Marriage is a three RING Circus".

Engagement RING,
Wedding RING,
SuffeRING.

F@rking Dog

Today, while looking for jokes to de-stress, [too much blogging lately] I came across this very funny dirty joke thread in a forum at Yelp.com that is worth sharing. It made me laugh and I hope that I am not the only weirdo to laugh at a joke like this!

A guy walks into a bar and bets the bartender that he can give his dog 5 bucks and the dog will go out, get him the NY Times, and come back and give him the paper and his change.

The bartender takes the bet and he sends the dog out.

Half an hour passes - no dog.. an hour.. 2 hours.... the guys is freaking out, he says, "I gotta go find my dog."

He's looking all over town until he finally finds the dog in an alley fucking a French poodle.

The guy say, "You never did anything like this before!" The dog replied, "Never had 5 bucks before."

For more dirty jokes shared by members of the forum, check out Yelp.com.

Sex Sandals

While searching the web for sex scandal photos of Edison Chen and Jolin Tsai, I stumbled upon this joke and i JUST HAD to copy it here on my blog. This joke was taken from FunnyandJokes.com, one of my favourite jokes site.

My eyes played a trick on me by reading Scandal instead of Sandal... LOL

A couple walked into a tourist shop in Jamaica. The Jamaican said to them, I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. “Dey makes you wild at sex.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex God he was.

The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The Jamaican replied, “Just try dem on, Mon.” So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican’s hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming, “You got dem on the de wrong feet man! You got dem on de wrong feet!”

This one is good isn't it? Sometimes, I really miss jokes that can make me laugh out loud. And after a hard day's work you just need to read something like this!

Wait Upon the Lord

I received this forwarded joke about a week ago and found it extremely funny. Well, I am no Christian but I have many Christian friends who ALWAYS will depend on God to make decisions, etc.

After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery.

I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and as I approached,
there in the windows were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed.

"Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious
goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery."

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!

God is so Good!"

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