Male / Female Translations | ::: Daily Humour :::

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Male / Female Translations

I really love reading jokes that show the vast difference between the minds of men and women. Yes, I agree that women are way more complex than men. That's why we have best sellers like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus."

Here's a joke that I believe has been circulated to death but it is still just as funny every time!

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male......... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male…... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male…... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male........ A source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding.

7 REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male….... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said: That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said: We don't know; it has never happened.

He said: Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


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