Five New Boyfriends!

Here's a joke digging at elderly ladies. I know, it's no fun growing old and it is not easy to do so gracefully. Still, it's great to laugh at ourselves once in a while.

After *laughing* at the elderly ladies perhaps later, in another post, I will dig out a joke on elderly men. How about that? Meanwhile, enjoy!

I am seeing 5 gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.

Then I go to see John, sometimes we visit a couple times during the night too!

Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here, he takes a lot of my time and attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up & stays the rest of the day.
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I'm really tired & glad to go to bed with Ben Gay.

What a life!

Oh, yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer

Quote: Life is like a roll of toilet paper The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!

Who's Deaf Now?

No matter how many times I read this joke at various times, it still is able to make me laugh. I don't know why some jokes may be funny but it's quite easy to forget about them hence despite reading it a few times, they still seem like a fresh joke.

This one, has a slight twist to it, maybe that’s why it is as amusing as reading it the first time. And as you know, only jokes that can make me laugh are published here!

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things."

"Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and saysomething to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that well get an idea about the severity of her deafness".

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, whats for dinner?"

He hears no response.

He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply.

He moves 5 feetcloser. Still no reply.

He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, whats for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

Elderly Widow & Widower Dating

Poking fun at the elderly but it's good to laugh at ourselves once in a while!

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..."

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

"Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

The Old Man's Physical

Actually, growing old is no laughing matter. And yet some people can see the lighter side of it.

A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.

The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''

And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''

Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.

He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''

And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!''