F@rking Dog

Today, while looking for jokes to de-stress, [too much blogging lately] I came across this very funny dirty joke thread in a forum at Yelp.com that is worth sharing. It made me laugh and I hope that I am not the only weirdo to laugh at a joke like this!

A guy walks into a bar and bets the bartender that he can give his dog 5 bucks and the dog will go out, get him the NY Times, and come back and give him the paper and his change.

The bartender takes the bet and he sends the dog out.

Half an hour passes - no dog.. an hour.. 2 hours.... the guys is freaking out, he says, "I gotta go find my dog."

He's looking all over town until he finally finds the dog in an alley fucking a French poodle.

The guy say, "You never did anything like this before!" The dog replied, "Never had 5 bucks before."

For more dirty jokes shared by members of the forum, check out Yelp.com.

The Karate Dog

If you know me, you will know that I am an animal lover. That's why I find animal jokes exceptionally funny. I read a lot of jokes daily but not all can make me laugh out loud. Those that could make me laugh are good enough to be published on my blog.

This joke is about a little chihuahua that knows karate. Enjoy the unexpected!

A man wanted a watchdog, so he went to the pet store. He asks the clerk, "Do you have a good watchdog?" The clerk replies, "You're in luck; I have one left." She comes back with a chihuahua. The man, a little ticked off, says "What the hell do I need a chihuahua for? That's not a watchdog!" The clerk replies, "But this is a special watchdog. He knows karate."

The clerk takes the chihuahua and the man out to an alley, where there is some trashy furniture. The clerk points to a chair and says, "Karate that chair!" Less than a second later, the chihuahua reduces the chair to sawdust. The clerk points to a sofa and commands the dog to "Karate that sofa!" Repeat performance. The man, amazed, buys the dog for $100 and takes it home.

When he gets home, the man shows his wife the chihuahua proclaiming, "Honey, I got you a watchdog!" The wife yells, "That isn't a watchdog, for cryin' out loud! You wasted your money!" The man calmly replies, "This is a special watchdog. He knows karate."

The wife, flustered, shouts: "Karate?!? Karate my ass!!!"