This one I never read before but jokes that are outrageous like this are hard to relate to la, right?
Two women are walking home after a night out with the girls.
They are very drunk and as the walk home was taking longer than expected,
find themselves desperate for a wee.
As they are passing a church with a graveyard,
they decide to go and relieve themselves behind the headstones.
As they finish, they both realise they have nothing to wipe themselves with.
The first woman decides to use her knickers and throw them away afterwards,
which is what she does.
The second is wearing expensive underwear and doesn't want to lose it,
but notices a grave behind her that is very recent and still has flowers all over it.
One of these is a very lavish bunch tied together with thick, expensive ribbon.
'Just the job' she decides, and reaches over, drags the flowers towards her,
and uses the ribbon.
Their task completed, they continue staggering home.
Next morning, the husband of the first woman phones the husband of the second.
"We need to keep an eye on our wives.
Mine came home with no knickers on last night!"
"You think you've got problems!" exclaims the second husband.
"My wife came home with a card stuck up her arse that said
'We'll never forget you - from all the lads at the fire station'!"